something greater than desire

Paulo Coelho once quoted that it takes a huge effort to free yourself from memory. This desire to have wished that your past was different, that people had treated you the way you deserved to be treated, that you should have been loved differently, taken more seriously, been acknowledged, been accepted, been respected – all this suffering we feel is desire, not pain. These memories shape our souls into the people we are, and our wish to have had something different is little more than a need for our self pity. We suffer because we believe we have a right to a better life, but if we incarcerate ourselves with these memories and thoughts, what kind of a life are we truly giving ourselves? Your desire for something better can be achieved by forgiving those negative thoughts. What hurts us is quite often what heals us. In this world, we all suffer, but if you are able to free yourself from those memories, then you are able to achieve something greater than desire. You achieve peace.”-via Hey Fran Hey

2015: Don’t Give Up

Welcome 2015!

As per usual, I won’t be making any resolutions. Though I will try to live with intent and continue to work on my main goals for life:
confidence, family, saving, goal setting, friend time, creative time, giving back and embracing my inner weird girl.

My children are awesome. I’m determined to give them all the room and support they need to keep being the amazing people they are. It’s easy, too easy, to clip brown and black children’s wings in the name of keeping them safe or in an unintentional attempt to control how they are (sometimes) seen by other people. I hope to show them, through more fully accepting myself and less policing of my own behavior, that they should feel free to be weird, nerdy, loud, quiet, shy, brash, opinionated, colorful, interested, interesting, expressive…

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Whatever they need, I’m there.

And so is my hubby. Who is right here, supporting me in the same way.

Unlike previous years, I DO have some concrete things on my list. I have been so inspired by my entrepreneurial and career minded friends. They set their goals and they achieved them. For an unambitious person like me, that is super heroine stuff.

I’d like to take machine knitting, weaving and textile design classes.
I have the interest and the tools. The time and the space.
Must work on focus and action.

For dreams don’t work unless you do.

My motto for 2015 “Don’t Give Up.”

Illustration Friday: Surrender
Ink drawing by me :: Inspiration Don’t Give Up, What’s the Time Mr. Wolf?, Noisettes

 

2014 Hi&Hi: Sewing and Friends

High&High cuz with sewing and family and friends there can be no true lows.

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 Gearing up for 2015 {oy!}.
Reading lots of best of posts.
Here are mine.

2015Maravilloso MalvarosaBlack White Houndstooth & Sexy : Double the Kimono : Malvarosa en Denim : Gabby in Ikat

And, an obvious highlight, the Nettie. Which was named for me.  14052346552_dfc61c51cb_hBut, that’s not why it’s a highlight. The deepening of my friendship with Heather, is. She’s just one of the many awesome women who have been instrumental in making one of my dearests wishes come true: having true friends to do shit with.

And to lean on.

They helped me get through some truly stressful parenting and spouse issues. The NYC high school application process has taken years off my life, and an untold number went with worrying for my boys who are hurtling towards teenage-hood. And then there was hubby’s health scare. They’ll never know how much they helped me stay sane. And how much they added to my family life, too. My children adore them and my hubby is happy to know that I have such special friends.

So many of my non-sewing highlights involved them. So many stories shared. So (SO MANY) laughs. No documentation is necessary, but you may have stumbled across an Instagram post or blog hint, or two. I DO wish I had taken a moment to snap a pic of my favorite handmade look of the year which was worn partying with them. But stay tuned! That black wool Nettie dress and my absolute fave Le Animal sweater coat deserve some pics! But until then….

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! BRING IT ON 2015!!

2014 Hi&Lo: Black Lives Matter

blmI kept it quiet here. Because I couldn’t find the words. And then I had too many.

I eventually gave voice to my feelings. In many conversations. With many different people. From many different backgrounds.

One massive positive to this experience was the knowledge that we can come together and what an amazing thing that can be.

It is both the high and the low.