That is what I need to do.
I have gotten so (both legitimately and needlessly) worried about something or other or EVERYTHING this past week, going right on into this one, that I’m sure an anxiety attack can’t be too far behind.
My knitting is sucky. My sewing went alright, and then sucked (ALWAYS hand stitch when that’s your first instinct, unpicking SUCKS!!), and then sucked more since my camera is, apparently, fucked as ALL eleventy billion pics taken today are blurry as shit. (And, turns out I rushed myself for nothing, my deadline is one week later than I thought). I’m being pulled in a thousand different directions from commitments I made before I knew that I’d still have a job at this time of year. My birthday came and went and I was too sad (and too freaked out that something would go wrong, and it did) about what happened on my birthday last year to make an event of it. And then the anniversary of the day I lost one of the most important people in my life is nearly here…..and I’m spinning. And spinning and spinning, the closer I get to the date. I’ve been losing sleep over it for weeks, already.
And, for some fool-ass reason, I decided not to get it out, write it out, blog it out, share it with my online community because….well who the hell knows why. I ALWAYS feel better when I vent, here.
Hopefully, the same will be true, this time. And, hopefully, I will retake those pics and love them as much as I love the project I just finished. And, hopefully, the next thing I knit won’t completely suck. And, hopefully, I will be graciously excused from the focus pulling commitment I have decided to drop.
And, hopefully, I’ll make it through the day on the 31st without breaking down.
Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully….