Keep Calm & Take a Chill Pill

keep_calm_and_take_a_chill_pill_by_showdog12345-d4lqzhd

That is what I need to do.

I have gotten so (both legitimately and needlessly) worried about something or other or EVERYTHING this past week, going right on into this one, that I’m sure an anxiety attack can’t be too far behind.

My knitting is sucky. My sewing went alright, and then sucked (ALWAYS hand stitch when that’s your first instinct, unpicking SUCKS!!), and then sucked more since my camera is, apparently, fucked as ALL eleventy billion pics taken today are blurry as shit. (And, turns out I rushed myself for nothing, my deadline is one week later than I thought). I’m being pulled in a thousand different directions from commitments I made before I knew that I’d still have a job at this time of year. My birthday came and went and I was too sad (and too freaked out that something would go wrong, and it did) about what happened on my birthday last year to make an event of it. And then the anniversary of the day I lost one of the most important people in my life is nearly here…..and I’m spinning. And spinning and spinning, the closer I get to the date. I’ve been losing sleep over it for weeks, already.

And, for some fool-ass reason, I decided not to get it out, write it out, blog it out, share it with my online community because….well who the hell knows why. I ALWAYS feel better when I vent, here.

Hopefully, the same will be true, this time. And, hopefully, I will retake those pics and love them as much as I love the project I just finished. And, hopefully, the next thing I knit won’t completely suck. And, hopefully, I will be graciously excused from the focus pulling commitment I have decided to drop.

And, hopefully, I’ll make it through the day on the 31st without breaking down.

Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully….

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14 thoughts on “Keep Calm & Take a Chill Pill

  1. Mwah, hugs, and a pat on the shoulder… It’s all going to work out! Sounds like you have a LOT to be legitimately stressed about, on top of the personal to be anxious sometimes that so many of us have! What my husband always tells me when I’m freaking out is that my feeling are all valid. There’s no alternate version of life where we can all magically handle everything all the time… we do our best, and sometimes we need other people to take the burden for us. Or sometimes, they can’t handle it either, and it’s time to just be sad together. Eventually it always gets better!
    (That’s rather rambling, but I hope you get the gist of it, at least! 🙂

  2. Your Granny was a strong woman who has given much to many people. She has given you her eyes, your talents and the strength to carry on without her. I salute her. We are fortunate to have strong people behind us.

  3. Thanks for sharing. I too am having a super anxious few months and its made all the worse when you try and deal with it all yourself! Hang in there lovely, it will pass and you will be back in the sewing / life saddle. Hugs.

  4. Please go ahead and vent whenever you feel the need. And if you break down on the 31st then so be it. There is no shame in showing emotion and anyone who matters will understand. I still get like this around the anniversary of my father’s death even though it was a few years ago now – I’ll be grumpy for no reason, nothing goes right, then I’ll realise what month it is and I understand why. I just tend to go with it, try not to upset anyone else with my bad moods and know that it will pass. It does get better, and feeling low is better than not feeling anything. Hang in there, you are strong enough.

  5. Being anxious and stressed sucks, so so so bad. I totally feel ya- I was having an awful time earlier this month (although not even on the same radar as the stressful stuff you’re dealing with), and it finally died down, just in time to present me with a kidney stone! Yay! NOT!!!

    So, I guess my point is – hang in there, girl, you got this. Focus on you and don’t stress yourself so bad that you end up making yourself sick. I know things seem reeeeally bad when you’re in the midst of a big stressout, but take a step back and ask yourself what is really the worst thing that can happen if you miss a deadline. That usually helps me get a grip on things. Take care of you and give yourself time to grieve if you need it! I know we’re not super close, but if you ever need someone to talk or vent to, you can always email me 🙂

  6. actually, i can relate to this. the day after i saw you was the unveiling at my mother’s gravesite, which is partly why i suggested that saturday for our get-together – so i would have something happy and wonderful to carry through an otherwise difficult weekend. i feel sure that you will find something that helps you carry though as well!

  7. Good luck! It sucks when the things you do to keep you sane– sewing, knitting– start frustrating you. Lately I need to take a chill pill too. Yesterday I started reading an excellent article by Ian Frazier in the latest New Yorker about homelessness in the city which abruptly put my stress into some much needed perspective.

  8. Awww man, I’m so sorry. It’s hard enough to be anxious and sad without the things that usually make you cheer up failing you. I don’t work well under the gun and tend to push myself harder than I normally would (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat with the seam ripper at 3AM trying to finish something I need to photograph in the morning before work). Once you get through your deadline, I hope you’re able to take some time to relax– take a long walk with the kids, take a bath, bake your favorite recipe, or just do nothing. Sometimes when I’m really feeling stressed, it can help me to sort out what I can do to make things better (as opposed to what I can’t do anything about). So maybe I can’t stop worrying about a family situation, but I can straighten up the apartment so I’m not stressed AND frustrated with clutter. Or I can write out a list of tasks, rearrange them in order of priority, and then cut out what I know I won’t be able to do and will only feel guilty about. And you can always call me if you need to talk!

  9. Oh Nette! I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling like this! But, yeah, venting always helps. I’ve been known to get hit with some serious, downward spiraling anxiety from time to time. It’s the worst. And I don’t think it’s the sort of thing that you can just ‘snap out of’. But time heals everything, so I’m just going to echo what everyone else has already said here – take time for yourself, to grieve, and heal, and nurture your soul. Control what you can control and just let the rest go. And know that we all care about you and are here if you need us.

  10. Seems like when things unhappy happens it becomes like a downpour and the best way to get through it is to reminder that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Or that there are happier days just around the corner. At least that’s how I work through chillin out.
    I am spending cyber hugs and good vibes your way.

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